It's all coming back to me now....
Ok. I know what you are thinking....I wrote some strange fluff piece about kits pool and respecting one another and then disappeared. I am not going to lie. It happened. The truth is that I have been a little bit stuck lately. I think I am experiencing this for a several reasons.
- Last year was amazing, and scary, and I suppose there was an assumption that the second time around would somehow be an easier experience
- My mind has been wavering in and out of preparation, perhaps because I swam so much last year and part of me wasn't ready to commit again
- I am working. I found this very difficult last year too, which is why I quit my job around this time and started working part time at the pools (very convenient)
- Life is just....tiring. This isn't meant to be sad, but things have been really busy. I am selling my place, learning the ins and outs of a new career, and my iron levels have been way off.
This isn't meant to be a laundry list of complaints. It's my confession. I have been off my game. needless to say, I recognize this, and I am so eager to snap out of it. And remember that fear I mentioned? Can you believe it - it's still here! Only now I am afraid of not living up to a high standard I have set for myself. I am afraid of the possibility that I wont raise as much money for MS research as I did last year, and that I won't find as many relay teams as I had hoped for. Let's face it, I am still scared of the cold water for 12 hours....I don't think you ever start looking forward to that part!
Over the past couple weeks I have had some good chats with myself. I have reflected on my goals from last year, my goals for this year, and the impression I want to leave on the world when I am no longer here. I am tired of being tired darn it! I made a promise that once I had my iron and nutrition taken care of, once I was off the couch, I would live every day changing things for the better. Even in some small way. I am lucky that I now work at the MS Society, because I accomplish this almost always. The challenge is to look outside of my regular 9-5. I want to go above and beyond what my job description says and I want SwimMS to really become something! So - this very moment I am changing mindsets. This very moment I am back on track.
Thanks to everyone who has provided support this year! I am so excited to continue moving forward! Together we will #endMS!
Anyone else looking to raise funds for the Multiple Sclerosis Society can create their own initiative at www.ichallengems.ca